So This Is What It's Like To Die
by Seblainer
Summary: It's Jim's turn to lose the person closest to him. Warning: Contains HET.


Fandom: Ghost Whisperer  
Title: So This Is What It's Like To Die  
Characters: Jim Clancy and Melinda Gordon  
Pairing: Jim/Melinda  
Rating/Warnings: PG Death!fic Het  
Summary: It's Jim's turn to lose the person closest to him.  
A/N: Thanks to Judy for betaing, to MadameMorganLeFay for the advice and to anyone who reads and reviews.  
Disclaimer: I don't own Ghost Whisperer or anything you recognize and I make no money for writing this story.  
Words: 720

*So This Is What It's Like To Die*

"_So this is what it's like to die_," Melinda said as she surveyed the destruction around her. The mess would have usually driven her crazy, but there were more important things to deal with at the moment. Things like how much she regretted what had happened with Ned.

How it tore her up inside as she watched him lie on the floor bleeding and in pain as his life drained away. Other things like making sure Jim knew how much she cared about him. The blinds were open and the sun filtered into the room, but Melinda couldn't feel it. A bitter cold had begun to spread through her body and she tried to push away any thoughts of her impending death.

Her husband Jim was seated on the floor beside her, his paramedic's shirt untucked from his pants, and soaked in her blood as he tried to halt the bleeding from her gunshot wound to the chest. Melinda felt Jim slip a hand into hers, and the sensation of her own blood dripping from his hand to hers caused her to tremble in fear, since she knew what was coming next.

"I'm sorry." The words she spoke earned her a confused look from her husband, so she clarified. "For what happened earlier with Ned. He was just a kid and didn't deserve to die, especially not in so much pain."

"What happened wasn't your fault. Ned cared about you and wanted to protect you, so he got between you and Eli and the gun went off. Ned died while trying to stop Eli from killing you. Eli claimed that the spirits he was in contact with, told him to kill you." She thought about Jim's words when he fell silent as he checked on her wound.

Melinda nodded and then gasped in pain at the feel of Jim putting pressure on her wound once more, as he kept trying to stop the bleeding. "It's started again, hasn't it? We're stranded too, right?" At her husband's nod, she sighed and winced.

"The ambulance won't make it here in the bad weather." She wasn't sure which of them had spoken the words aloud, but from the look in Jim's eyes, she knew that it was true and felt numb because of it.

Melinda took in the tears in her husband's eyes, the way his hands shook as he tried to take care of her wound. She was dimly aware of the books and papers scattered all over the floor, some overturned chairs and lamps.

Her attention returned to Jim and she could only focus on his face, the last thing she wanted to see. The usual smile he wore was nowhere in sight and instead, she watched his lips tremble as he tried to hold back his pain.

"I don't want to lose you." The words were low and distorted, but Melinda understood anyway and tried to smile at her husband, though didn't know if it reassured him. That chill from earlier was back and she knew it was time for her to go.

*GW*GW*GW*GW*GW*GW*GW*GW*GW*GW*GW*GW*GW*GW

A few days later Melinda showed up at the cemetery and observed the gathering of her friends and family. Her attention was mainly on Jim as he struggled to say one final goodbye and keep his composure.

The fact that her husband pretended to be okay was a mask. She knew Jim didn't want anyone to see him as weak and that he had planned to save his real grieving for later, when he was alone.

A moment of hesitation nearly kept her from leaving, but then Melinda forced herself to approach Jim and she stood beside him and rested a hand on his shoulder, rubbing gently. She fixed his tie with her other hand and then ran that hand against her husband's cheek, an action she knew he was familiar with.

She knew that her actions had made an impact on her husband when his back suddenly straightened, his eyes seemed a little less sad, and he began to look around the room. Melinda knew that he was trying to see her and while he couldn't, she realised that he knew she was there.

After one last look at Jim, her eyes filled with tears and she turned and walked into the light, feeling alone, but secure in the knowledge that her husband would be okay with time.

The end.


End file.
